Unexpected

      Tonight….tonight was probably THE worst performance of my life. I’m not just talking about halftime the entire game was awful. After I hit the final stunt I instantaneously felt how awful I had done. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at the coaches. That might sound like a little silly, but that’s how bad I performed. This was the game in which we really needed to bring our A game because there where cheerleaders from others schools there. We don’t really get to see other cheerleaders throughout the season, region and state is our time to see other school’s cheerleaders.

     Tonight I failed the coaches, my team, but most importantly I failed myself. I didn’t really realize exactly how much cheer means to me until this year. Of course I had always liked cheer otherwise I wouldn’t wear this uniform and cheer/perform at the games, but this year I realized that I love it (this is not to say that I am the best cheerleader out there because if you’ve ever seen my jumps you know that’s not the case). Regardless of that, if I were told I could never cheer again I would probably die because I would have nothing to do with my time. By this time everyone knows about the trouble that I happened to get into. When I realized how that was going to impact cheer, I literally broke into tears. All I could think of was not being able to cheer again, what if I got kicked off the team? I couldn’t even handle the thought of not being able to go out there with my team. And to be quite honest the academic punishment was nowhere near as painful as renouncing captain. Still to this day I do not regret stepping down because it was for the betterment of the team. 

     Back to tonight, this game was just so embarrassing because we all know we could have done better. We went out there and did everything half way. I know I wasn’t out there giving it my all, for all I know that could have been the last time I ever got to do something I love! Thankfully it’s not, but that’s not the point…we never know when will be the last time we get to see someone we love or do something we are passionate about. This super embarrassing game has reminded me to give everything I do my all, 110% and more if possible.

Sleepiness

Sleep…one of the most important things that the human body needs. Lately it’s something I have not been getting enough of and I know I’m not the only one. Every day as I walk through the halls I see students that look so tired and even in class people will often doze off. For whatever reason everyone always seems exhausted and lacking motivation. What surprises me is that this is not only happening within the upperclassmen, but this even includes the lowerclassmen! When I look back at freshman and sophomore year I don’t remember ever being tired, but now I as I talk to many freshmen and sophomores all they say is how they’re so tired. It is really unfortunate that they are already tired because they still have a long way to go lol.

Even though I am so fortunate to have the privilege to attend school it’s becoming a real struggle to wake up in the mornings. I have to set three different alarms just to make sure that I will wake up in time to shower and get ready. Even with my multiple alarms I always seem to be running late. On Friday it was a miracle that I was able to pick myself out of bed. I realize that our time here at St. Joes is coming to an end; we only have 3 months left! It may seem like a long time, but we’ll be wearing caps and gowns in the blink of an eye. So this coming week I will try something new, as soon as I wake up I will start my day off with a few positive thoughts. Even though it will most likely be a little hard to be positive considering I’ll want to continue sleeping, I want to change my outlook and try to be happier in the last stretch of my high school career.

PS- never get pasta from The Pizza Factory because you will get food poisoning, which leads to throwing up, which leads to a miserable weekend ;)

Senior Night

Senior Night…probably one of the most emotional nights for all the sport teams. It is the night in which all the senior members of the team get recognized for their contributions to the team throughout their high school career. It is a great way to see how much the seniors contribute not only to their sport, but especially to their teammates and team atmosphere. Today will be the girl’s basketball team and cheer team’s Senior Night. Personally, I know I will get emotional. Even though I was only part of the cheer team for two years, I feel a strong connection to the girls and Braxton. This season has been full of amazing moments for all of us. Whether it was performing a dance routine correctly or hitting some more advanced stunts, we’ve all had great moments together. I’ve had some rough moments throughout the season, but no matter what I don’t regret a single thing. Tonight will be the last time the seniors get to cheer in our gym. I remember how nervous I was the first time I walked into that gym with my uniform on. At times I felt out of place, but as the season progressed it was better and better. This season has been marvelous and I am so thankful for being part of this team. Although I am not the most experienced cheerleader, I love what I do. The rush of hitting a lib or a basket is something that nothing will ever be able to replace. For me Senior Night comes along with the emotions of being near the end of Senior Year. Everyday is one step closer to graduating and quite frankly it’s scary, yet super exciting. But for now it’s time to enjoy the moments I have left with my team. 

Intro

This whole blogging thing is kinda foreign to me…writing in a journal is the closest I’ve come to “blogging”. I usually only write down my thoughts when I am going through crazy situations! I dislike the idea publishing my thoughts because it makes me feel vulnerable. Like what are people going to think when they read my blog? What if I come across as lame? Lol I just hate that feeling of uncertainty, but I think this will be a good learning experience for me. This blog won’t have an overall theme, some posts will be random and others will be semi-personal. It’ll be about my life and the things I have gone through that have made me the person I am today. This past year has been full of many ups and downs. Thanks to those moments I have grown and started to find out who I am. 

I want to take a moment to explain the title of my blog “No Reset Button”. I chose this title because I was listening to a J. Cole song and those words stood out to me. In life we don’t have a reset button or a way to go back and undo things that we’ve done. At times it can be hard to go throughout life and live with the decisions made. I think that it’s super important to just accept those decisions, after all they’re part of who we are. We have to learn, move on, and eventually laugh about those moments. Of course it might take some time to get to the point at which you can laugh about it, but life is no fun without a good laugh once in a while. 

What’s better than laughing and reminiscing at how silly you were at one point in your life? I made some mistakes, but it’s all about growing up and being happy with the choices you’ve made because at the end of our lives there is no reset button.

Thanks for reading!! :)